Module 3 | How We Think is How We Feel
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Module Video:
HELPFUL OR UNHELPFUL?
Scroll down for a transcript of this video.
It Depends on your goals
You may have noticed that up until now, we have tended to label positive ways of thinking as being “helpful” and negative ways of thinking as being “unhelpful.” Often, this might be the case. However, it’s important to remember that ultimately a helpful response is a response which helps you towards your goals, and an unhelpful response is something that hinders your goals.
In practice, when we find ourselves in a stressful situation, the helpful ways of thinking are often somewhat positive in nature. However, there are situations where the opposite may apply. For instance, if you are a competitive weightlifter about to hit a max lift, it’s likely that the most helpful thoughts will be those which increase anger and put you into fight mode. The same goes for other situations requiring an intense state of vigilance, such as making a game-saving tackle during a football match, or quite literally preparing to fight.
In these situations, we can think of the helpful appraisals as being the appraisals which upregulate aggression and arousal. In contrast, if we bring back Henry’s Binder date, the helpful appraisals here would be the one which downregulate feelings of anxiety or rejection, and upregulate a sense of composure or calmness. Taken together, helpful appraisals lead to emotions which support your goals within a given situation, while unhelpful appraisals lead to emotions which hinder your goals.
