Module 4 | Taking Action and Putting It All Together
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MODULE VIDEO:
RESPONSE MODULATION
Scroll down for a transcript of this video.
Response Modulation
The final way in which we can regulate our emotions is by considering the way in which we respond to situations. If we cast our minds back to the model of emotion from Module 1, our experience of emotion is a constant cycle of situations that we attend to, appraise and respond to in some way. Given this, our responses can be thought of as both the result of experiencing emotion (via the preceding situation, attention and appraisal), and also something which affects subsequent experience of emotion.
For instance, if we return to our friends Russ and Rachel from Module 1, they may be feeling irritable and socially awkward during their group of friends’ weekend away due to their recent break-up. It’s possible that one (or both) of them may respond to these emotions by drinking heavily, which in turn may induce an unhelpful mix of anger and confidence which then instigates more heated arguments.
We can also think of response modulation in terms of either being helpful or unhelpful, depending on our goals in a given situation. In the case of Russ and Rachel, if their goal was to have a civil weekend away with their mutual friends despite their difficulties with each other, drinking heavily due to feeling irritable and socially awkward probably wasn’t a very helpful response.
On the flipside, a more helpful action may be to limit the amount of alcohol consumed. Russ may offer to be the designated driver for their friends, which caps how much he can drink to a modest amount. Rachel may try to open a dialogue with Russ to acknowledge that they both still feel awkward about this weekend away situation, and to come to an agreement over what boundaries (social, physical, conversational or otherwise) they would both be happy enough with to minimize potential arguments escalating in front of the rest of their friends.
BE WARY OF WILDCARD RESPONSES
While our responses can be useful for directly regulating our emotions, it’s important to be wary of wildcard responses. These are responses that may seem like a good idea at the time, but can quite often get you stuck in the long run.
Let’s bring back Russ one more time. Russ was feeling really distressed and awkward due to tensions with Rachel. In the moment, it’s perfectly understandable that someone feeling this way would want to quickly down a few drinks to alleviate these uncomfortable feelings. However, alcohol (or specifically, too much alcohol) can also impair your judgement. Combine this with feeling irritable and this may result in unintentional aggression or other risky behaviours.
Avoidance can also be a bit of a wildcard. Sometimes avoiding a situation to avoid distress can be a good thing, such as choosing not to walk through a dark alley late at night. Other situations however, warrant a bit more consideration. For instance, avoiding social situations such as parties, dates or work presentations because it makes you feel socially awkward is a common one. Sure, immediately speaking, avoiding these scenarios may be a relief, but over time it may also lead you to miss out on important things such maintaining friendships, building new relationships or striving for that work promotion.
Next time you feel like avoiding a situation, it can be helpful to consider what other things you may be missing out on.